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"I had a girlfriend in college who, after we broke up,
became a lesbian
and shaved off all her hair "
– 'Straight' Dan's recollection of
a college break-up. Ms. Ashli's absolutely priceless response:
“If she was dating you, are you sure she didn't pull it out?"
"No darling, I
have hardwood floors!"
– A newly blond coiffed Shawn's retort after
being asked by yours' truly, Common Veranda, whether the carpet
matched the drapes.
"What
is that... a traffic cone?"
– Oscar's evidently
rhetorical question to a rather well endowed young man of his
acquaintance.
"You know me,
I'm not one to put up much of a struggle!"
– Bartender Gary's response to receiving back-to-back tips from
favored Roosterfish patron and, not so coincidently, big tipper,
Accountant Jeff.
"Rinse,
never spit!"
– Ashli
dispensing dental hygiene advice... we think!
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"He was about
to ended up face down in the pool because I was definitely NOT
ready for my close-up."
– Oscar's Sunset Boulevard influenced threat against someone
trying to snap her photo in the early morning after a rough
night and before she'd donned her morning make-up!
"I got
eye contact, so that's already more action than Mario saw!" –
Ryan's comment concerning his (at least before he reads this)
friend, Mario, who managed to spend two weeks at a gay resort in
Cancun and still not get laid!
"I was
NOT in rehab... I prefer to think of it as emotional growth
school!" – One of our now detoxed
regulars with a permanent suite at Betty Ford.
"What was
girl to do...? It was dealer's choice."
– The always flexible Ms.
Ashli explaining how she once ended up in particularly strenuous
sexual position best described as right out of the Gay
Kamasutra.
"Charles
Nelson Reilly wants his sunglasses back!"
– Ricky's rather biting analysis of
a patron's, shall we say, over-the-top new sunglasses.
"I'm
not a size queen, but I'll confess there've been times I was
impressed!
– Anonymous Roosterfish
regular who looked more than just a little flushed when he
said it!
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"I
believe in planning ahead. I can always cancel a hooker if I get
a real date" – Jeff explaining how he
always hedges his bet to make sure he gets laid
one-way-or-the-other at the end of the night.
"Not very
graceful is he!"
–
Yours' truly
complaining to Ashli about the way an otherwise hot guy danced. Ashli's
ever dead on response:
"You don't have to be
graceful on your back!"
"I
still turn heads when I walk into the room. It's just
that now it's in the other direction!
– The still lovely and talented Ms.
Nadine's graceful recognition that her looks may be fading
ever so slightly with time.
"I may get too drunk to remember what I do, but I always
remember what YOU do."
– Ashli's inebriated, yet
insightful, response to 'Straight' Dan's protest that she
couldn't possibly remember what or who he was doing the night
before.
"Did I
invite you home or did you break in?" –
Anonymous
Roosterfish patron after waking up next to some rough trade from
the night before.
"I
had no idea you were that rich or your cock was that big!"
– Gone but never to be forgotten Roosterfish
Bar owner Walter Schneider's comment to me the first time he
met my rather attractive boyfriend, Rich.
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Venice, CA
90291 
